Riddles, mysteries, enigmas

I was living in a share house in suburban Melbourne more than thirty years ago when the brother of one of my housemates was shot through the leg by police.

There had been a burglary, a chase on foot through dark suburban streets and a deserted railway yard. Shots were fired, my housemates brother fell, and I recall a first thought that it was literally a shot in the dark that he was lucky to survive.

I knew the victim only slightly but remember the sudden, immense, shock and pain felt by his sister, and shared amongst us all, in the moments after the news came. And the struggle to make sense of the event, to bring reason to the aftermath of an inherently unreasonable situation.

The inquest into the death of knife-wielding fifteen year old Tyler Jordan Cassidy in Northcote on December 11 2008 during a confrontation with four police officers recounted the shock and bewilderment felt by many in the broader community after that dreadful event. During the inquest various rational explanations were offered, including a suicide by police hypothesis. That was discounted by the coroner, who found that the unfortunate teenager was probably incapable of forming the necessary intent to die at the hands of police. "He was so overwhelmed by his emotions that it is not appropriate to conclude he was acting voluntarily", Judge Jennifer Coate found.

Judge Coate also exonerated the police involved in the shooting, but clearly they have been profoundly affected by the unfortunate teenager's death. "One day my daughters are going to ask me if I ever used a gun, and I don't know how I'm going to answer them", one anguished officer told the inquest.

Judge Coate said "(Tyler) was desperate that night...perhaps seeking some distraction from the inner despair he was in for reasons, sadly, we can now never know."

We try to make some sense of that terrible night, but never can. Not really. All we can do is endure, somehow, try to transcend the shock and pain and be human, which means sometimes life offers mysteries, riddles and enigmas we can never quite solve, no matter how great the desire to.