Friday, September 30, 2011

How to make a tinfoil hat


For anyone troubled by the Australian mass media saying stuff you don't like, help is at hand. The Anything But Human Special Edition Tinfoil Hat is here, and in the great tradition of direct action, you can make it yourself.

You need:
1. Two squares of aluminum foil about 300mm a side.
2. A head.

Five-step assembly:
1. Arrange one bit of aluminum foil on the head, from front to back.
2. Pat the foil until it conforms to the head's shape and gently bend bits of the foil away from the eyes and neck.
3. Arrange the second square of foil on the head from ear to ear.
4. Pat the foil until it conforms to the head's shape and gently bend bits of the foil away from the ears.
5. Squeeze and fold the bits of foil you folded away from ears, eyes and neck into a flat shape that runs continuously around the head. Your tinfoil hat is now ready to use.

WARNING: Some media may require extra layers of tinfoil. You will know which when you see it.

3 comments:

  1. Woke up this morning to find this post and I'm still chuckling about it. It's fantastic Steve and also useful I think if you are eating around the Victoria market, for it would stop birds dropping little white messages from their bottoms onto your head. Tin foil hat may also be useful during these rainy days to protect head from falling water and attracting any ambient rays of sun, which is badly needed. Suggestion though ~ how does covering head with foil protect from what mass media is saying, might it not have been better to construct apparatus to cover eyes and to plug ears? Or better still ~ don't turn on television & computer and avoid newspapers!

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  2. I'm following Julian Huxley's advice in The Tissue Culture King (1927), in which a foil hat protects against mind controi.

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  3. It could work if mind is located in head.

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