Wednesday, August 25, 2010


I awake this morning feeling a little more on top of things. Leonie and Ali visited last night and picked up a load of goods for the op shop. It was so nice seeing them and being able to discuss my general anxiety about the future ~ although I'm alright when I'm busy, it's when I stop and begin to think that my anxiety escalates. A positive way to think about all of this is that I've been forced into Spring cleaning prior to Spring and that's meant looking again at what's important and what can be discarded. I sometimes wish we could discard psychological baggage with such ease. I suspect too that my psyche is doing this, for I've had many uncomfortable and confusing dreams in the past week or so. My mind is obviously making preparations and repair-ations (is that actually a word?). One of my main difficulties is thinking that I will be a different person because I am moving to a different location. Does place make one over? It's strange because after reading Dom de Clario's book in which he described the grid he lived in for many, many years of his life, I realised that I had also been living in that same grid and because of that I formed a deep connection with him and his life. I am moving out of that grid now and maybe that's appropriate, perhaps reading his book was the beginning and the beginning of the end back then, last August. I wrote ~ I am no longer the same person, but perhaps in each event and each encounter of our lives we are no longer the same people ~ we are forever changed and changing ~ this is becoming ~ remaking, transforming, becoming different again, whilst acknowledging the past, incorporating it and making it new.

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