Life is sweet!

Tightrope Walker. Acrylic paint on canvas. Julie Clarke 2011

Devolution. Acrylic paint on canvas. Julie Clarke 2011

I've been up since 4am, most probably because I had way too much sleep over a weekend, in which I was struggling yet again, with the symptoms of vertigo. I went out briefly on Saturday morning but became so anxious in the shopping centre that I had to return home quickly. Vertigo does make it almost impossible for me to do anything outdoors, especially if that means (and it generally does) that I have to cross roads and move through crowds of people all moving in different directions.Vertigo is such a debilitating condition and makes for a very lonely life. I'm finding it more and more difficult trying to find something positive about this experience, which is the way that I generally approach life's challenges. Staying at home did mean that I had the opportunity to begin two new paintings. But just bending down to trace shadows onto a canvas was uncomfortable, but I did it just the same. I'm sure some of my readers on Face Book would have already seen these images, but for those who haven't I place them here for your comments and perusal.

The first one ~ Tightrope Walker (after Nietzsche's Zarathustra) is a comment on the way I feel whilst walking with vertigo, although in this image the walker has a outstretched beam to hold onto for balance, whereas I have no such prosthesis to aid me. The precariousness of life is exaggerated when we think that perhaps we all walk some kind of tightrope; making decisions all the while about going forwards or retreating backwards after we  have arrived at the middle point, which of course, is always the most dangerous point to be, since there is the same distance in going forwards or backwards to a place of safety. 

The second painting  Devolution relates to the same condition, but here, Nietzsche's 'going down' is interpreted as the sudden impulse to let go of human (self-consciousness) to become other than man—animal or machine, in order to become. I see in the shadows of this image not so much a return to inhuman forms but a recognition of the inhuman inherent in life.

I've just made crepes for breakfast, probably not the best choice, but I went to bed last night after watching most of Julie and Julia and must have been a little inspired. I read the book a few years back, it was given to me by my friend Shaun because my name was formerly Julie Powell and I too owned both of Julia Child's cook books on Mastering the Art of French Cooking and had dabbled in many of Julia's recipes ~ I vaguely remember the rolling and folding involved in making several dozen croissants and inviting friends for breakfast many moons ago . Although I shared the same name with the protagonist in the film I was surely not as dedicated.

So, I've just finished eating the first crepe lavished in a good old Australian favorite ~ Golden Syrup and now I'm going back out into the kitchen to place more butter and batter in the pan. Life is sweet ~ I guess you just need to discover where to find it!