Today...

I'd like to say today was good, but it wasn't! The struggle continues on so many levels & talking doesn't appear to help. I've considered retreating into a tiny little cocoon, but even that with my claustrophobic disposition would cause me grief. Surely, I say to myself, over and over again, this will pass. How will I know the good times if there are no bad, how will I know if I am joyful if there is no sadness, how will I know peace if there is no sound, I know that I should have included question marks after these sentences, but somehow it just doesn't matter, free now in this confusion to punctuate any way I like. Such a little freedom in my body determined as it is to undermine my cognitive existence by presenting symptoms that I no longer understand. I've tried saying it's out of my hands, leaving it up to the universe in all its wisdom to sort things out for me, for I no longer have the capacity, or rather, I feel that I no longer have the capacity to work this out for myself. There's the dilemma - working it out, perhaps I should just let it be and see where it goes -  just so long as it goes...goes...goes!