Brummell to Beckham – just exactly was it about their childhoods?
“A Masculine Flounce”
Psychoanalysts have discussed for decades the transitional object, we, as children adopt as our security talisman, as we move into adulthood. It could hearken back to the notion of ‘blue for boys and pink for girls’. British psychoanalyst, D.W. Winnicott proposed in the late 1950's that, at a very early age girls generated towards soft objects, such as dolls, whereas, boys discovered 'harder' objects, such as tools, hammers and bricks, etc.
So, where did I go wrong?
My kindergarten terrain was divided down the middle by boys at one end of the classroom playing with blocks and Tonka toys of massive destruction and at the opposite end, five year old girls cared for their dolls and fantasized about happy family domestic situations.
Okay, so where I am supposed to place myself within this gender war zone, having no preconceived ideas of ‘how people see me” and/or “what will people think’?
Yes, at four years old I had finally learned to tie my shoelaces but, in this practice of future domestic realms, I was torn between constructions and baking. No wonder I still have great difficulty making up my mind about any/everything. I chose to cross the gender divide by placing my dolls in a pram and charging [daintily] across the room, ending in destruction of masculine architecture scale models [read building blocks].
“Watching the accident happen from both ends.”
What exactly was the object, occurrence or issue in my early life that forced me to take the soft option fork in the road? [I apologize to Jim Henson).
Okay, I recall my older siblings forcing me to discard both my pacifier and security blanket [Onky] into our Dad’s latest engineering feat, the incinerator. Conversation around this ritual burning is vague, but I do remember the words ‘baby’, ‘sissy’ and ‘grown up’ being mentioned. Yes, the spoiled youngest child got an opportunity to have his own Olympic torch ceremony. Having no interest in sport since birth, this was a tactical sacrifice of my future association with soft objects. Funnily enough, I am sure this was the same week I was forced into soccer training. I did spend the first few games running in the opposite direction to my team and scoring two or three goals for the opposing team.
Oh, how they didn’t realize then??
The recognized masculine/feminine divide has been enhanced/enlarged by contemporary sexual politics. So, Oscar Wilde was a romanticist with a wayward eye. How, in the greatest scheme of things, does David Beckham accessorized by a touch of mascara, Alexander Downer in fishnets and Liberace acting macho in sequins and a fur drape, constitute masculinity?
So, from a focused western perspective, I question the ‘selection of gender based practice’ in other cultures.
Reference:
Winnecott, D. W. (1971) ‘Transitional Objects, Transitional Phenomena’, Playing and Reality, London, New York, Tavistock Publications.
“A Masculine Flounce”
Psychoanalysts have discussed for decades the transitional object, we, as children adopt as our security talisman, as we move into adulthood. It could hearken back to the notion of ‘blue for boys and pink for girls’. British psychoanalyst, D.W. Winnicott proposed in the late 1950's that, at a very early age girls generated towards soft objects, such as dolls, whereas, boys discovered 'harder' objects, such as tools, hammers and bricks, etc.
So, where did I go wrong?
My kindergarten terrain was divided down the middle by boys at one end of the classroom playing with blocks and Tonka toys of massive destruction and at the opposite end, five year old girls cared for their dolls and fantasized about happy family domestic situations.
Okay, so where I am supposed to place myself within this gender war zone, having no preconceived ideas of ‘how people see me” and/or “what will people think’?
Yes, at four years old I had finally learned to tie my shoelaces but, in this practice of future domestic realms, I was torn between constructions and baking. No wonder I still have great difficulty making up my mind about any/everything. I chose to cross the gender divide by placing my dolls in a pram and charging [daintily] across the room, ending in destruction of masculine architecture scale models [read building blocks].
“Watching the accident happen from both ends.”
What exactly was the object, occurrence or issue in my early life that forced me to take the soft option fork in the road? [I apologize to Jim Henson).
Okay, I recall my older siblings forcing me to discard both my pacifier and security blanket [Onky] into our Dad’s latest engineering feat, the incinerator. Conversation around this ritual burning is vague, but I do remember the words ‘baby’, ‘sissy’ and ‘grown up’ being mentioned. Yes, the spoiled youngest child got an opportunity to have his own Olympic torch ceremony. Having no interest in sport since birth, this was a tactical sacrifice of my future association with soft objects. Funnily enough, I am sure this was the same week I was forced into soccer training. I did spend the first few games running in the opposite direction to my team and scoring two or three goals for the opposing team.
Oh, how they didn’t realize then??
The recognized masculine/feminine divide has been enhanced/enlarged by contemporary sexual politics. So, Oscar Wilde was a romanticist with a wayward eye. How, in the greatest scheme of things, does David Beckham accessorized by a touch of mascara, Alexander Downer in fishnets and Liberace acting macho in sequins and a fur drape, constitute masculinity?
So, from a focused western perspective, I question the ‘selection of gender based practice’ in other cultures.
Reference:
Winnecott, D. W. (1971) ‘Transitional Objects, Transitional Phenomena’, Playing and Reality, London, New York, Tavistock Publications.
Strangely enough, as I discussed with you last week, instead of playing with dolls (although I did that on occasions) I was more interested in building bridges and dams out of mud and driving my tiny cars over them. When I was a child I played mostly with the boys and was called a tomboy because I climbed tress and threw cow pats at people when I was on the farm. When my sister wanted a new doll for XMas, I asked for a toy sewing machine. I just loved all those moving parts. Always considered 'too tall' and 'too strong' and later 'too intelligent' to be a girl (which is an insult to women) I dealt long ago with the fact that I fall somewhere in between. I like my men to be like girls and my girls to be like boys - if you get my drift?
ReplyDeleteInteresting post Mark, and welcome. Think my talisman was a roof, I often dream of one. I just wanted a permanent home, with bookshelves, as far as I remember.
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