A difficult conversation...

Difficult conversations are probably the most challenging and the most interesting for the difficulty is not in the feeling associated with the difficulty - feelings are always going to be approximate, vague, we know that, but in the expression of it. The it of the difficult is under question here and in that difficult conversation we remain guarded for fear that every word, every gesture will reveal something about us not already known and yet we know nothing of each other really. So much remains masked. So much of who we are as people, as human (what does that word really mean anyway?) will forever remain a mystery. But perhaps this is what we desire, not the unmasking of the mystery for what would be the point in that, except the experience of the moment of enlightenment that would soon pass, but to seek to discover, without discovering anything solid at all. And the seeking has its own reward - just navigating that terrain can be a form of fulfillment, because to seek difficult conversations in which questions are posed that cannot really be answered in any satisfactory way, or statements made that simultaneously reveal and conceal the voice of the utterer, is to experience only the seeking and the yearning and the discovery that the complexity of the organism is the sum total of it and it has too many labyrinths to penetrate. And not that it can't be named - namely being all powerful, put something under a microscope and you can see everything, well you think you can, but perhaps being in such close proximity can obscure, in our perception in which everything is dependent upon our point of view, rather than illuminate and yet that's what we attempt to do in this difficult conversation; this place where everything is permissible because its virtual and non-one has to deal with the face to face, physical overwhelming event, which causes the difficulty to emerge - emerge here, playing on the word emergency - some form of risk, as well as e(merge) - we come together as one to overcome the difficulty, which occurred through our coming together in the first place, and, finally emerge - as the sudden arrival, the materialization of the thing, which is the difficulty. So, I return again to naming. It is not that it can't be named, it can, and yet neither will name it. And so it is. It may forever remain within the murky depths of that almost uninhabitable place - the zone of the difficult conversation.