Love, or the notion of love

I finally worked out how to reinstall the tracking code into my blog template last night and  I'm delighted its' working!
Thinking about yesterday, it appeared that everyone I had occasion to talk to in virtual as well as in real life was interested in love or various aspects of it.  Love, or, rather, the notion of love was played in their minds through family, food and possession. Notwithstanding family, of course, the idea of possession conjures up all kinds of ideas about control, ownership and romance. The idea of romantic love - you know, the love associated with sexual attraction, which sneaks up on you and before you recognize what's happening, you've already fallen too deep to escape its gentle but firm grip on your body and psyche, tends to bring with it notions of property. Somehow  from that moment on you belong to the other.  All very well if that's what you desire. However, there are some, including Robert Dessaix (On Humbug, 2009:56) who perceive the whole 'falling in love thing' as a mind-fuck - your reason takes a holiday; your psyche becomes an overheated brazier of dreams, desires and resentments; you want to be intimately alone with whoever has cast the spell; you start collecting stamps or watching old John Wayne movies because your beloved likes to do that; you see enemies and rivals everywhere; you live for a repeat of the epiphanic moment; you become an emotional wreck; you surrender; you say 'yes' to everything; you become deaf and blind; you start living out borrowed narratives; you are in love. It's all quite fabulous, of course, and definitely not to be missed. (2009:64)
Yes, I've been there, and experienced all that, but after discussion yesterday with a friend we decided this kind of love is definitely for the young. Older people are more psychologically and physically vulnerable to the kind of roller-coaster ride of 'being in love' and the inevitable aftermath - almost everyone falls out of love, and opt instead for something more comfortable, more predictable and manageable in their lives. And, anyway, older people know who they are and are not about to bend to the will of another or change their habits easily!
But I was thinking that the notion of possession becomes even more important for lovers, having been through the turmoil and surviving the insecurities of the state of being-in-loveness don't want to loose their love interest, even though much of the passion has gone. Couples clutch even stronger to one another, not permitting anyone or anything to permeate their concocted cocoon - I don't want you, but  I don't want anyone else to have you either.
We could attempt to take the physical out of the equation, focusing instead on  'falling in love' in a mental kind of way, but then doesn't it all become pure fantasy? You can't really take the body out of the equation and why would you want to. Being in love, possession, jealousy and emotion is played out on the body - beating heart, rage, fear, anxiety. Oh, and of course, the pleasure, pure pleasure and that's what it's all really about. But some, already anticipating the failure of love and the pain that comes with loss, spend all their time in avoidance. 'I'll never fall in love again' you can hear them cry and by avoiding pain they also manage to avoid the type of pleasure associated with feeling fully connected to another, if only briefly.